— Chapter Seventeen —
This morning my counselor asked, “Donna, as you are having more opportunities to respond to those who have seen God’s power in your life during these stormy eighteen months, what is it that you want them to know?”
I thought for a few seconds and then answered, “That there is hope after the pain.”
He responded by asking another question. “Don’t you believe that there can be hope in the pain?”
“How do you know when you have hope?” I asked, not knowing whether I had clearly understood the question. Our discussion led to the definition of hope.
“There is hope,” my counselor advised, “When there is clarity in chaos.”
His statement stuck like glue. When I went home, I searched for passages in the Bible where chaotic situations existed. In the eighth chapter of the book of Luke, Jesus’ disciples were caught in a storm at sea. There was definitely chaos. Jesus was asleep in the bottom of the disciples’ fishing boat when strong winds blew across the water. I could almost hear the disciples frantically shouting above the winds as they were taking on water.
“Lord, wake up! We are perishing!”
“Master! Master! We are going to drown!”
I focused on the reaction of the disciples. How did they respond when their lives were touched by circumstances over which they had no control? Was there clarity in their chaos? I read to whom they cried. “Master!”
The disciple Matthew described the storm as furious and recorded what Jesus asked them in the midst of it all: “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?”53
“Lord, You knew the disciples were drenched with fear! You saw how they were frantically holding on as the winds tipped their boat in the deepest part of the sea. You were there! You knew that their boat could have snapped at any time. Humanly speaking, if it had they would have never made it to shore. And in all of that chaos you asked, ‘Where is your faith?’54
“If I had been one of those disciples and had a few minutes to think about your question, I might have answered, ‘Well, Lord, I know about all the great things You have already done. I saw You heal the blind and the lame. I was with You when You fed those thousands of people. I heard about the water being changed to wine. And when You cleansed a man of leprosy, everyone was astonished. You even raised Lazarus and Jairus’ daughter from the dead! Lord, those were fantastic miracles! And what joy You brought to those whose lives You touched while all the time proving to a doubting world that You are God! But when You were performing those miracles, my feet were firmly planted on solid ground. I could have answered You a lot easier if my boat wasn’t being tossed around in this relentless sea! You ask me, ‘Where is my faith?’
“Lord, how can you expect an answer when these angry waves hurl my boat as if a toy? The spray stings my face like pellets. The oars are slipping out of my hands as I struggle for control. Salt water stings the open cuts on my hands, washing the blood away as if nothing happened. This is the reality of my storm!
“I’m shivering. My blue lips tremble. Darkness multiplies my fear as I bend over to keep the knot in my stomach from cramping up. The sea opens up and roars that I am going to perish. And my boat which I thought was my security is beginning to crack! This is the reality of my storm!”
Then the Lord asked me, “Where is your faith, Donna?” “What did you say, Lord? I can’t hear You over this clapping thunder!”
“Where is your faith, Donna? Is it in Me, or in your boat? Again He asked, “Where is your faith, Donna? Is it in Me, or in your ability to finesse the seas?
“Where is your faith, Donna? Is it in Me?”
In all my struggling, all the toil, all the pain and fear that I’ve encountered, I had only one answer.
“Lord, I cannot save myself in this ravishing storm. If You don’t intervene, I will surely die.”
“He rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm” (Luke 8:24 NASB).
I asked, “Lord, couldn’t You have prevented the disciples from having to go through that storm?”
I knew He’d answer yes. If He had stopped the storm, then I would have never read what the disciples said afterwards:
“Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?” (Luke 8:25 NASB).
“Lord, couldn’t You have prevented my storm...my rejection…my pain?”
Again, I was sure He’d say yes. But if He had, I never would have known what it has meant to be comforted by the Holy One. I would have never known that Jesus could care for me as my Husband. I would have never experienced the empowerment by the Spirit of God to proclaim His name openly and excitedly at any given opportunity. Even though surging obstacles have battered my boat, I could never be more secure than knowing that Jesus is there with me.
What do I want people to know about the working of God’s power in my struggles?
“Lord, You are all I have. Master, You are all I need! You are the clarity in my chaos. You are my hope in the pain!”
“Take courage, it is I; do
not be afraid”
(Matthew 14:27 NASB).
Copyright 2001, 2004 Donna Christensen
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Published Online by: The Biblical Reader
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